Where All Your Silence and Your Chaos Meets

Dedicated to Elisabeth…

“If then, I reach out and touch Your Form
Where all Your silence and Your chaos meets
Where everything joins and parts
If I may once clutch Your Heart
And pull its beauty to my face
(There the bloodfall falls, red river cracks)
Behind me lies blackmothermountain
The goats wheel around: great sign of lust
How much I wanted you
And oh Christ, how much more I want You now” (Current 93)


When thou shalt behold that holy and formless Fire shining flashingly through the depths of the Universe: Hear thou the Voice of Fire.” (The Chaldean Oracles of Zoroaster)


Is it not strange, that an infant should be heir of the whole world, and see those mysteries which the books of the learned never unfold? (Thomas Traherne)


0. Zero. Nothing is ultimate Truth. There is no beginning  ……… nor ………  end, but the continuity of consciousness. Like a stream.   Like a beam on a screen, from a mysterious realm. It’s the eternal serpent, coiled, ancient, beyond. Yet here. Where the serpent’s head meets the serpent’s tail, in Her starry, blue-flamed body – She is that Nothing. Nothing is the unconditioned Absolute, our Essence, a timeless Void to which Silence is the Key. Exhaustion in Chaos is the secret to implant the dream, where belief becomes reality: Here Eternity is naked. Pregnant with All-Potential in No-Thing. Out of that No-Thing some-thing must come…

  1. One. Knot two. Undivided, vibrating Light. Forever One: the Inmost Light. The Sun. One-Eye. Not alone, but All-One. The Unmanifest becomes manifest. The Unmoved Mover Moving … out of No-Thing. They call it Dao, we call it God. But only the Fool knows it’s One.
  2. Two. Eye can see You. In the Mirror. Is this me? The division. Our Pain. For the sake of Love. Longing for One. Uniting the two again. The Dyad. United in Seperation. Marriage. The union of two creates the magickal Childe. Love is the law. All that Magick is.
  3. Three. The three is born. The Eye in the Triangle. Trinity is Divinity. Holy Three. The Tree is Holy. Hel, Midgard and Asgard. Secret Mother and Secret Father. Give birth. To thee. She is the endless Ocean, He is the limitless Sky, It cannot Die. Brahman, Vishnu, Shiva. Óðinn, Vili, Vé. The Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost. “The Worlde is a Wound in the Body of Christ.” And the Holy Ghost is Her. The Earth Her Body. Breath Her Life-force. Consciousness Her Limitless Nature. Life Her Ardour. Death Her Crown. “For all that is moving is moved by Her hands. She is mirrored for ever in the Life of the lands. In the building of thoughts, in the shifting sands.” I Crave For Her.
  4. Four. The Four is the Door. Can you open it? What is it for? Four elements of nature. Fire, Water, Air, Earth. North, East, South, West. Open Space. Close Time. It’s all about quaternities. The Mandala, the Symbol, the Key, the Self. Open the Door with the Four.
  5. Five. A fifth is hidden. Five is a Star. Every Man and every Woman is a Star. Let them unite. The four elements in balance. Balanced by the Spirit. In the centre. The Sacred Chao. Be the Eye in the Storm.
  6. Six. The Son of the Sun. Six Is Beauty. And Strength. And Power. Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun. Out of all this Beauty something must come. An Angel is born. S/He is Holy. The Sentinel who tells no Lies. The Guardian of the Secret Flame. Pray for the Fire within. God is nowhere, God is now here. Be like a vessel. Seething.
  7. Seven. Seven is the Holy Grail. Lead the Chariot with bravery. Drink from the plenty Cup. When all our ways lead towards Her. Her Love. Her Mystery. Here Ecstasy. Our Lady of Flowers. Our Lady of Lust. Our Lady of Signs and Stars. Our Lady of pilgrimages. Why is she black? Why golden within? The journey is the Gift. The journey is to return. To Become. What Is. Seek Her under the Stars. In the Forests at Night. Inbetween the waves of T.I.M.E. Time Is Memetic Energy.
  8. Eight. Eternity. This is Her Name. The Sign on Her Breast. A tangled hierarchy. The endless Knot. A Reflection of Zero. An eternal Not or Neither-Neither. She is the Reason. Why you are here. Neither there, nor then. But eternally Now. Here. Be. Maybe you know. She is the Reason why you are here. A reflection of No-Thing. We could say She emanated into time. Fell in love with T.I.M.E. Ideas caught in Memetic Energy. She, the source of Ideas. You, Her Reflection. She watches Herself through your Eyes. You are mirrored in Her. She is the Beyond within. Energy, Consciousness, Dancing. Now you are perplexed. Close your eyes to find the Golden Flower within. Silent. Conscious. Thoughtless. Free.
  9. Nine. Mystery. Mother of Runes. Mother of God. Mistress of Ecstasy. He is nailed to the Cross or hangs at the Tree. Nights All Nine. Hagal made all Divine. Christ shaped the Worlde. In the Beginning before time. Hagal. Christ. Consciousness. Spinning and Cosmic. Cataclysmic and trance-forming. Drunk on the Blood of Jesus. And the Blood of the Saints. In our veins. And all this is Void. Maybe a Voice. Whispering. What was, will be and is. Hidden, but there. The Seed-Form. Every Fractal reassambles its own nature endlessly. The Mother of Form, in the Ice crystal. She creates Thought. She beareth Vision. She speaketh Truth in Contradictions. She is Wisdom. The ‘I’ is Born. Shattered. Reshaped. And Born Again. I’m Made when I Die. Here is contradiction. Here is perfection. Here is completion. And a last question: what is it that dies?
  10. Ten. One returns to nothing. They call it Death, we call it the Alchemist’s Abode. 1 becomes again 0. Cycle Completed. They see self-annihilation. But we experience Self-Completion. What they see is the outer form and the division. But in the Eye of Ain Nothing is Truth. And Truth is One. One Direction. One Will. One Love. Finally. Forever. Freedom. There is no other option. Thou art that! Do not fear. You will be cut-up, destroyed, dis-membered, just to re-member again, the unity, to re-connect with the source of All. This is the Worlde. It’s an allegory for the interior world. The unus mundus. The God within. Yes, it’s ok that you are here. Simply be. You are the breath. Breathe in, breathe out: it’s a beautiful moment. You can smile now. You’ve never been lost. God Is Love. And all this is Void, was, is, will be. It just is.

(This text is a creation in the spirit of stream-of-consciousness. Holy is the Folly. It’s unavoidable that all the bands and writers and ideas and mishearings and all the stuff I’ve been exposed to has poured into this foolish writing. I cannot credit them all, because I don’t even know where some phrases and mazes come from. I just had to get them out of my system. It’s cut-up. An outer dialogue with an inner voice, as it were. All accusations should be sent to my lawyer. Be assured, they will be not answered. Not Knowing What Is And Is Not. Knowing, I Knew Not. M. A.)

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